Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
