oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
