i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
