I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
