I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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