i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He felt like a one man threesome
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
