OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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