a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
