Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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