p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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