just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
