Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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