After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
