So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
