Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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