mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I AM VODKA MAN
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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