he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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