I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
