if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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