I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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