Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
