Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
