Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
