you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
