Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
