yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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