Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
