How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
