Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
