The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
