you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
