Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
