Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
