careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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