and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
