love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
