unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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