Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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