I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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