It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
im about as happy as oj after his trial
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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