I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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