even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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