you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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