I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize