I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
