Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
