You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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