why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
