that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
