I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
