Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
